Friday, October 21, 2011

Today is a good day to...

I, like you, am a fan of Star Trek.  Not quite sure why, since realistically, they all sucked.  Sure, there are parts of each one that are okay, but overall, after 40+ years of it, how many really quality movies or episodes are there?  The one with the gaseous blob?  The one with the cheesy, heavy handed story?  The one that defies a logically consistent Universe?  The one where they go warp ten and turn into giant lizards but are saved because one of the women happened to be pregnant and the unborn baby had the cure?  Nah, just kidding, they all rock!  That's why we are all fans!

There is that Klingon saying that appears in a lot of episodes, "Today is a good day to die."  It implies that one has lived life to the fullest each and every day, all affairs are in order, didn't leave the oven on by accident this morning, I think I locked the front door, but did I let the cat out...  Well, you know what the saying really means.  But, what if it really was just a mistranslation?  With that wonderful segue:

Today is a good day to buy.  The Klingons were actually a renown race of shoppers, always willing to buy whatever was on sale that day.  The saying was to inform people that even though they valued the dollar, they know that "the economy" is defined as "the motion of money", so the best way for everyone to get rich and have a better standard of living was to buy.  Everyday.

Today is a good day to pry.  Sure, people hate nosy neighbors, but why?  Because they have something to hide, that's why!  Who knows what kind of insidious schemes they are planning to launch against proud, Klingon Warriors!  So, be sure to pry into your neighbors affairs as much as possible, every day perhaps, until you can find all of the dirt worth knowing about your neighbors.  Root through trashcans, payoff housekeepers, talk to their kids' friends - who knows what you will find!  Probably something that will save the world, so get crackin', for all are sakes!

Today is a good day to fry.  Wow, that one really hits home, so I'm guessing that is the most correct translation.  Every day is indeed a day to eat fried foods.  As we all know, evolution makes us crave that which makes us stronger, live longer.  If not, then we would all be dead by now.  And if we are religious people, what kind of god would make food that tastes so good without it being good for us?  Fried food, god's gift to man!  Evolution's answer to long life!

So go forth and live by the Klingon motto!  But, just to play it safe on which one they really mean, take a neighbor out for some tasty fried chicken and grill them.

The Edward